.... you won't get up to pee in the middle of the night because the cat's lying on top of you, and you don't want to wake her.
.... the biggest Christmas stocking hanging from the mantel belongs to the cat.
.... you leave the TV on all day to keep it warm for the cat to lay on.
.... you keep a pillow on the bed just for the cat to sleep on.
.... the cat eats better than you do.
.... you play with him to get him to eat his food. When our cat has meat for dinner, he doesn't like it when it's all piled up on the plate. He likes to have it dropped or thrown to him piece by piece!
.... you get a new sofa set, and you then proceed to cover it up with blankets and towels, rather than ban the cat from sleeping on it!
.... you stop working and hand over your pencil to the cat because no matter how much you spend on fancy toys, your pencils are always his favorite. And not just any pencil, mind you, it has to be "THAT ONE! Yes, the one you're using!"
.... you no longer bother trying to plant anything in the window boxes that you spent mega-$ to make and hang on the top of the patio fence, because it's their favorite place to nap and bird watch, and nothing I've ever planted can survive 18+ pounds of Kitty.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
When in doubt, cop an attitude.
Variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.
Climb your way to the top - that's why the drapes are there.
Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.
Find your place in the sun - especially if it happens to be a nice pile of warm clean laundry.
Make your mark in the world - or at least spray in each corner.
If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over several expensive antique lamps.
Always give generously - a small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care."
When you go out in the world remember: being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.